The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. «I can't stand this,» said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
«Hold it, hold it,» he said to the men. «Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?»
«Well, we work for the county,» one of the men said.
«But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?»
«You don't understand, mister,» one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. «Normally there's three of us: me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work and get paid.»
Words and Expressions:
crew бригада, команда
rural сельский
gas station автозаправочная станция
tank бак
soft легкий, мягкий; зд. безалкогольный
cola кока-кола
to move on двигаться дальше
to fill in заполнять, засыпать
to toss пихать, совать
trash мусор, отходы
container контейнер
county округ, район, графство
to accomplish завершать, заканчивать
to waste тратить попусту
to lean склоняться, наклоняться, опираться (на что-л.)
shovel лопата
to wipe вытирать
brow лоб
to stick втыкать, вставлять
dirt грязь, почва, земля
to be sick болеть
to come along идти следом, подходить
Hold it! Постой! Подожди!
that don't meanразг that doesn't mean
Section 62Job applicants
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks, «What do two plus two equal?»
The mathematician replies, «Four.»
The interviewer asks, «Four, exactly?»
The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, «Yes, four, exactly.»
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, «What do two plus two equal?»
The accountant says, «On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.»
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, «What do two plus two equal?»
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, «What do you want it to equal?»
Words and Expressions:
job работа, рабочее место
applicant соискатель, претендент на рабочее место
mathematician математик
interviewer интервьюер, проводящий собеседование
to call in вызывать (в кабинет)
to equal равняться, быть равным
exactly точно
incredulous недоверчивый, скептический
percent процент, проценты
to lock запирать (дверь)
shade жалюзи, шторы
to apply for подавать заявление о приеме
What do two plus two equal? Чему равняется два плюс два?
on average в среднем
give or take ten percent плюс-минус десять процентов
to pose a question задавать вопрос, ставить вопрос
Section 63Schubert's productivity
A company chairman was given a ticket for a performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Since he was unable to go, he passed the invitation to the company's Quality Assurance Manager. The next morning, the chairman asked him how he enjoyed it, and, instead of a few plausible observations, he was handed a memorandum which read as follows:
1. For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.
2. All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required, this could be obtained through the use of an amplifier.
3. Much effort was involved in playing the demi-semiquavers. This seems an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. If this were done, it would be possible to use trainees instead of craftsmen.
4. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty minutes.
In light of the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert given attention to these matters, he probably would have had the time to finish his symphony.
Words and Expressions:
productivity производительность (труда)
chairman президент
ticket билет
performance исполнение
unfinished неоконченный
symphony симфония
invitation приглашение
plausible вероятный, правдоподобный
memorandum меморандум, служебная записка
as follows следующим образом
considerable значительный
oboeмуз. гобой
to reduce сокращать
to spread распределять, рассредоточивать
orchestra оркестр
to avoid избегать
peak пик, вершина
inactivity бездействие, отсутствие активности
violin скрипка
identical идентичный, подобный
note нота
duplication удвоение, дублирование
staffадм. штат, персонал
drastically решительно, круто
volume объем
to obtain получать, приобретать, достигать
amplifier усилитель
effort усилие
to involve вовлекать, вводить
semiquaverмуз. шестнадцатая (нота)
demi-semiquavers муз. тридцать вторая (нота)
excessive избыточный
refinement украшение
to round up свести, округлить
trainee ученик
craftsman мастер
purpose цель
horn рожок
passageмуз. пассаж
to handle обращаться (зд. играть, исполнять)
strings струнные
redundant избыточный
to eliminate изымать, уничтожать
concert концерт
to conclude заключать, подводить итоги
matters обстоятельства
Quality Assurance Manager менеджер по контролю за качеством
instead of вместо
in light of the above в свете вышеизложенного
Section 64Husband's checkup
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1) Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
2) At lunch, make him a warm nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
3) For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores.
4) Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had said to her. She replied, «You're going to die.»
Words and Expressions:
checkup проверка, осмотр
to accompany сопровождать
aside в сторону
mood настроение
nutritious питательный
especially особенно
to burden обременять, нагружать
household домашний, хозяйственный
chore домашняя работа
whim прихоть, каприз
good frame of mind хорошее расположение духа
Section 652 Drops every 4 hours
My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.
He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, «Put two drops in right ear every four hours,» and he abbreviated «right» as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
«Put two drops in R ear every four hours.»
Words and Expressions:
actually действительно
practice практика
earache боль в ухе
prescription предписание, рецепт
ear drops ушные капли
to abbreviate сокращать, давать аббревиатуру
circle кружок
greasy замасленный
oil масло
pharmacist фармацевт
to type напечатать
label ярлык, этикетка
rearсленг зад
back in the early days давно в прошлом
Section 66Bob's doctor
«Would you mind telling me, Doctor,» Bob asked, «how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?»
«Nothing is easier,» he replied. «You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.»