Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы — страница 5 из 56


Study the words and expressions given below:

auction аукцион

to realize осознавать

to load грузить

truck грузовик

to check проверять

honey мед; зд. дорогая

wheel колесо; зд. рулевое колесо, баранка

to honk сигналить, гудеть

horn рог; зд. клаксон

to get a good deal on sth разг. совершить удачную покупку чего-л.

to get sth homeразг. привезти, доставить что-л. домой

to start acting real differentразг. начать вести себя действительно не так

next morningразг.the next morning

to be just acting normalразг. просто вести себя обычно

same thing no changeразг. то же самое и никаких изменений

neighbor's соседский (дом, ферма)

to look out the windowразг.to look out of the window

back of the truckзд. кузов грузовика

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. How many pigs did the farmer get at the auction?

2. What did he realize when he got home?

3. What did he speak with his neighbor about?

4. How did he get the pigs to the neighbor's farm?

5. How could the farmer get to know if his girl pigs were going to have babies?

6. How were the pigs acting after the farmer had brought them from his neighbor's for the first time?

7. How were they acting when the farmer's wife saw them out of the window?


2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A farmer got a good _______ on a dozen pigs.

2. When he got them home he _______ they were all females.

3. He wanted to bring his girl pigs _______ to the neighbor's boy pigs _______ they could get some baby pigs.

4. The farmer _______ the girl pigs in his truck.

5. That night he went back _______ them up.

6. They would start acting real_______ .

7. Next morning he went and _______ his pigs.


3. Say if the statements are true or false:

1. A farmer got a good deal on a hundred dozen pigs at an auction.

2. When he got them home he realized they were all females.

3. The neighbor agreed and so the farmer loaded the boy pigs in his truck.

4. The neighbor said that they wouldn't act real different.

5. Next morning he was sitting at the table and he asked his wife if the pigs were acting different.

6. One of them is in the back of the truck and eleven are behind the wheel honking the horn.


4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:



5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Он поговорил со своим соседом, чтобы удостовериться, не может ли он привезти к нему своих поросят.

2. Сосед согласился, и фермер погрузил своих поросят на грузовик.

3. Тем же вечером он отправился назад, чтобы забрать их.

4. Как я узнаю, не собираются ли они иметь маленьких поросят?

5. Дорогая, выгляни в окно и посмотри, не ведут ли себя поросята необычно.

6. Одиннадцать из них – в кузове грузовика, а одна – за баранкой и сигналит.

Revise English Grammar

В предложениях The neighbor said that they would start acting real different… So next morning they were just acting normal… содержится характерное для разговорной речи нарушение согласования глагола и наречия – последнее заменено на прилагательное.

Нормативное согласование глагола и определяющих его частей речи предполагает следующую форму:

The neighbor said that they would really start acting differently…

So next morning they were just acting normally…, где обстоятельство образа действия выражено не прилагательным, а наречием.

Вместе с тем и в нормативном употреблении есть исключения.

Проверьте, насколько хорошо вы знакомы с правилом согласования глагола и наречия/прилагательного (в случае необходимости см. грамматический комментарий; раздел 7).


6.Fill in the blanks choosing the appropriate variant of the words in brackets:

1. What you say about your boy pigs sounds really (good, well) _______.

2. The neighbor (happy, happily) _______ agreed and

so the farmer (quick, quickly) _______ loaded his pigs in the truck.

3. Honey, look out the window and see if the pigs are acting (different, differently) _______.

4. Eleven of them are in the back of the truck and one is behind the wheel honking the horn rather (loud, loudly) _______.

5. The farmer could (hard, hardly) _______ get his girl pigs home – so (happy, happily) _______ they were.


7.Make as many special questions as possible:

1. A farmer got a good deal on a dozen pigs at an auction.

2. The farmer loaded the girl pigs in his truck to visit the neighbor's pigs.

3. The neighbor said that they would start acting real different.

4. Next morning he went and checked his pigs.

5. Next morning he was sitting at the table.


8.Render the joke.

Section 8Darling, i have a confession

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, «Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?»

Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, «Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?»

The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, «Darling, I've a confession to make.»

And she says, «So have I, love.»

He cries out, «Don't tell me you've eaten my socks!»


Study the words and expressions given below:

confession признание

couple пара

honeymoon медовый месяц

edge край

bathtub ванна

smelly пахучий, вонючий

to stink вонять

to manage удаваться, преуспевать в чем-л.

to dateзд. встречаться до брака

meanwhile тем временем

breath дыхание

to court ухаживать

gently мягко

to climb забираться

hers ее

to keep sth from sb скрывать что-л. от кого-л.

to be bound быть вынужденным 

to find out обнаруживать

sooner or later рано или поздно

to be lucky быть удачливым

as soon as как только, так…

to pluck up enough courage собраться с духом

So have I. И я тоже.

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Where was the husband sitting?

2. What did he worry about?

3. Guess how he had managed to keep his socks as well as his feet away from his would-be wife while they were dating?

4. Where was the wife sitting?

5. How long would it take the man to learn everything about his wife's breath, she thought?

6. Why did the man think that his wife had eaten his socks?


2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A young couple _______ on their honeymoon.

2. How can I tell my wife that my socks _______ stink?

3. I've _______ to keep it from her while we were dating.

4. I've been very _______ to keep it from him.

5. He's _______ to find out.

6. How do I tell him _______?

7. Darling, I've a _______ to make.

8. So have I, _______.


3. Match the two parts of each sentence:



4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:



5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Рано или поздно она вынуждена будет обнаружить это.

2. Тем временем жена сидела в постели.

3. Мне удавалось делать это, пока мы встречались.

4. Как мне сказать ему об этом мягко?

5. Муж наконец собирается с духом.

6. Он забирается к своей жене, обвивает ее шею своей рукой и говорит.

7. Я тоже, любовь моя.

Revise English Grammar

В предложении A young couple were on their honeymoon… подлежащее, выраженное существительным в форме единственного числа, согласуется со сказуемым, выраженным глаголом во множественном числе.

Проверьте свои знания согласования подлежащего и сказуемого в английском предложении. В случае необходимости используйте грамматический комментарий (раздел 8).


6. Choose the appropriate form of the verb:

1. The husband, as well as his wife, (was, were) _______ in the hotel.

2. It (was, were) _______ the young couple who rented the apartment.

3. Both the husband and the wife (was, were) _______ bound to find it out.

4. Everyone in the house (know, knows) _______ that they have left.

5. Both (was, were) _______ afraid to confess their secrets to each other.

6. A pair of his socks (was, were) _______ lying on the table.

7. Neither my wife nor her relatives (know, knows) _______ that my feet stink.

8. The number of married couples in our hotel (is, are) _______ growing.