you to be such a good businessman."
Johnny smiled at her. "It's not so hard," he said. At the same time he was thinking, so
that's what was wrong. He understood women and he understood now that Virginia was
down because she thought he was having everything his own way. Women really hated
seeing their men doing too well. It irritated them. It made them less sure of the hold they
exerted over them through affection, sexual custom or marriage ties. So more to cheer
her up than voice his own complaints, Johnny said, "What the hell difference does it
make if I can't sing."
Virginia's voice was annoyed. "Oh, Johnny, you're not a kid anymore. You're over
thirty-five. Why do you keep worrying about that silly singing stuff? You make more
money as a producer anyhow."
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Johnny looked at her curiously and said, "I'm a singer. I love to sing. What's being old
got to do with that?"
Virginia was impatient. "I never liked your singing anyway. Now that you've shown you
can make movies, I'm glad you can't sing anymore."
They were both surprised when Johnny said with fury, "That's a fucking lousy thing to
say." He was shaken. How could Virginia feel like that, how could she dislike him so
much?
Virginia smiled at his being hurt and because it was so outrageous that he should be
angry at her she said, "How do you think I felt when all those girls came running after
you because of the way you sang? How would you feel if I went ass-naked down the
street to get men running after me? That's what your singing was and I used to wish
you'd lose your voice and could never sing again. But that was before we got divorced."
Johnny finished his drink. "You don't understand a thing. Not a damn thing." He went
into the kitchen and dialed Nino's number. He quickly arranged for them both to go
down to Palm Springs for the weekend and gave Nino the number of a girl to call, a real
fresh young beauty he'd been meaning to get around to. "She'll have a friend for you,"
Johnny said. "I'll be at your place in an hour."
Virginia gave him a cool good-bye when he left. He didn't give a damn, it was one of
the few times he was angry with her. The hell with it, he'd just tear loose for the
weekend and get all the poison out of his system.
Sure enough, everything was fine down in Palm Springs. Johnny used his own house
down there, it was always kept open and staffed this time of year. The two girls were
young enough to be great fun and not too rapacious for some kind of favor. Some
people came over to keep them company at the pool until suppertime. Nino went to his
room with his girl to get ready for supper and a quick bang while he was still warm from
the sun. Johnny wasn't in the mood, so he sent his girl, a short bandbox blonde named
Tina, up to shower by herself. He never could make love to another woman after he'd
had a fight with Virginia.
He went into the glass-walled patio living room that held a piano. When singing with
the band he had fooled around with the piano just for laughs, so he could pick out a
song in a fake moonlight-soft ballad style. He sat down now and hummed along a bit
with the piano, very softly, muttering a few words but not really singing. Before he knew
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it Tina was in the living room making him a drink and sitting beside him at the piano. He
played a few tunes and she hummed with him. He left her at the piano and went up to
take his shower. In the shower he sang short phrases, more like speaking. He got
dressed and went back down. Tina was still alone; Nino was really working his girl over
or getting drunk.
Johnny sat down at the piano again while Tina wandered off outside to watch the pool.
He started singing one of his old songs. There was no burning in his throat. The tones
were coming out muted but with proper body. He looked at the patio. Tina was still out
there, the glass door was closed, she wouldn't hear him. For some reason he didn't
want anybody to hear him. He started off fresh on an old ballad that was his favorite. He
sang full out as if he were singing in public, letting himself go, waiting for the familiar
burning rasp in his throat but there was none. He listened to his voice, it was different
somehow, but he liked it. It was darker, it was a man's voice, not a kid's, rich he thought,
dark rich. He finished the song easing up and sat there at the piano thinking about it.
Behind him Nino said, "Not bad, old buddy, not bad at all."
Johnny swiveled his body around. Nino was standing in the doorway, alone. His girl
wasn't with him. Johnny was relieved. He didn't mind Nino hearing him.
"Yeah," Johnny said. "Let's get rid of those two broads. Send them home."
Nino said, "You send them home. They're nice kids, I'm not gonna hurt their feelings.
Besides I just banged mine twice. How would it look if I sent her away without even
giving her dinner?"
The hell with it, Johnny thought. Let the girls listen even if he sounded lousy. He
called up a band leader he knew in Palm Springs and asked him to send over a
mandolin for Nino. The band leader protested, "Hell, nobody plays a mandolin in
California." Johnny yelled, "Just get one."
The house was loaded with recording equipment and Johnny had the two girls work
the turn-off and volumes. After they had dinner, Johnny went to work. He had Nino
playing the mandolin as accompaniment and sang all his old songs. He sang them all
the way out, not nursing his voice at all. His throat was fine, he felt that he could sing
forever. In the months he had not been able to sing he had often thought about singing,
planned out how he would phrase lyrics differently now than as a kid. He had sung the
songs in his head with more sophisticated variations of emphasis. Now he was doing it
for real. Sometimes it would go wrong in the actual singing, stuff that had sounded good
when he heard it just in his head didn't work out when he tried it really singing out loud.
OUT LOUD, he thought. He wasn't listening to himself now, he was concentrating on
performing. He fumbled a little on timing but that was OK, just rusty. He had a
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metronome in his head that would never fail him. Just a little practice was all he needed.
Finally he stopped singing. Tina came over to him with eyes shining and gave him a
long kiss. "Now I know why Mother goes to all your movies," she said. It was the wrong
thing to say at any time except this. Johnny and Nino laughed.
They played the feedback and now Johnny could really listen to himself. His voice had
changed, changed a hell of a lot but was still unquestionably the voice of Johnny
Fontane. It had become much richer and darker as he had noticed before but there was
also the quality of a man singing rather than a boy. The voice had more true emotion,
more character. And the technical part of his singing was far superior to anything he had
ever done. It was nothing less than masterful. And if he was that good now, rusty as hell,
how good would he be when he got in shape again? Johnny grinned at Nino. "Is that as
good as I think it is?"
Nino looked at his happy face thoughtfully. "It's very damn good," he said. "But let's
see how you sing tomorrow."
Johnny was hurt that Nino should be so downbeat. "You son of a bitch, you know you
can't sing like that. Don't worry about tomorrow. I feel great." But he didn't sing any
more that night. He and Nino took the girls to a party and Tina spent the night in his bed
but he wasn't much good there. The girl was a little disappointed. But what the hell, you
couldn't do everything all in one day, Johnny thought.
He woke up in the morning with a sense of apprehension, with a vague terror that he
had dreamed his voice had come back. Then when he was sure it was not a dream he
got scared that his voice would be shot again. He went to the window and hummed a bit,
then he went down to the living room still in his pajamas. He picked out a tune on the
piano and after a while tried singing with it. He sang mutedly but there was no pain, no
hoarseness in his throat, so he turned it on. The chords were true and rich, he didn't
have to force it at all. Easy, easy, just pouring out. Johnny realized that the bad time
was over, he had it all now. And it didn't matter a damn if he fell on his face with movies,
it didn't matter if he couldn't get it up with Tina the night before, it didn't matter that
Virginia would hate him being able to sing again. For a moment he had just one regret.
If only his voice had come back to him while trying to sing for his daughters, how lovely
that would have been. That would have been so lovely.
The hotel nurse had come into the room wheeling a cart loaded with medication.
Johnny got up and stared down at Nino, who was sleeping or maybe dying. He knew
Nino wasn't jealous of his getting his voice back. He understood that Nino was only
jealous because he was so
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happy about getting his voice back. That he cared so much about singing. For what was
very obvious now was that Nino Valenti didn't care enough about anything to make him
want to stay alive.
Chapter 27
Michael Corleone arrived late in the evening and, by his own order, was not met at the
airport. Only two men accompanied him: Tom Hagen and a new bodyguard, named