Следовательно, Замятин, возможно, изменил свой замысел романа, а следовательно, и финал независимо от того, написал ли он его, чтобы указать на триумф или провал восстания, или придумал двойственную развязку, которую должен разрешить читатель. Приехав на Запад после публикации романа на нескольких языках, писатель вполне мог подвергнуться различным влияниям в отношении этого и других аспектов поэтики романа. Возможно, свою роль сыграла и кинокультура, в которую он был погружен. Никаких других редакций этого киносценария не появилось; вероятно, важно, что он, по-видимому, перевел его только на английский («первый перевод»). Хотя позже Замятин написал для Ж. Ренуара сценарий «На дне» по пьесе М. Горького, вполне возможно, что в данном случае он рассчитывал на британскую или американскую киноиндустрию. Туниманов называет сценарий «голливудизацией» романа [Там же]. Вне зависимости от возможной площадки экранизации романа в 1930-е годы, по-видимому, киноиндустрия не восприняла бы должным образом ни пессимистичный (поражение восстания Мефи), ни двойственный финал.
Хотя до первой полной публикации «Мы» на русском языке в 1952 году роман был переведен на несколько языков, никаких рукописей, которые должны были лечь в основу любого из этих изданий, обнаружено не было, кроме машинописной копии из архива И. Е. Куниной-Александер[100]. Исследователям оставалось только счесть издание издательства имени Чехова каноническим источником текста романа; оно также послужило основой для всех последующих переводов и изданий на русском языке. За исключением машинописи «Мы», русская редакция киносценария «Д-503» и «первый перевод» «D-503» представляют собой единственные замятинские автографы романа и связанных с ним произведений, которыми мы располагаем.
Воспроизведение русского текста сценария, сделанное А. Тюриным, не отражает всех характеристик автографа. В процессе написания Замятин вносил много исправлений: добавление отдельных слов и фраз, вычеркивание предложений, фрагментов и даже целых страниц. Ясно, что во время письма автор очень тщательно продумывал киноверсию своей истории. В «первом переводе» правок гораздо меньше, во «втором переводе» нет ни одной.
Далее приводится тщательный транскрипт первого перевода на английский язык.
Рукопись «первого перевода», судя по всему, принадлежит самому Замятину – об этом говорит его сходство с рукописью русского сценария; «второй перевод» выполнен на пишущей машинке. Беловой автограф «первого перевода» написан разборчивым почерком, что обычно указывает на то, что текст переписан несколько раз (два или более), хотя в нем есть несколько исправлений, в основном вставки отдельных слов. Тем не менее это не совсем точный перевод русского сценария. Я воздержался от исправления очевидных ошибок переводчика (Замятина?).
D-503
A city, geometrically exact. Enormous, transparent cube-houses built of the „new glass“; and one could see how at the 10-th or 20-th stories of these houses are moving their inhabitants as if swiming in the air. Quite similar are all the houses; quite similar is the furnishing of rooms. Against the invasion of unorganized nature – of flowers, trees, birds, animals – the city is defended by the glass „Green Wall“, behind which are stretched endless green spaces where no mans foot stepped already for ages…
We are transferred for 1000 years forward from our epoch. All the revolutions, in await of which our generation is living, are already behind us. All the life is rationalized, standardized, calculated according to the Taylor s system. Even love is rationalized: everybody is examined in the sexual relation at the „Medical Bureau4 and receives there a certain number of „sexual days“ for a week and so called „rosy tickets“; these tickets are seeming for he-everybody or she-everybody the execution of their sexual wants, for a refusal is considered a crime and is punished by the State.
The confidence of the humanity – or, at least, of the State authorities – in the assuming of an absolute happiness is so great as its supposed to transfer this happiness even to other planets. For this purpose, under the managing of D-503 (names of course are replaced by figures and letters) is constructed the „Integral" – a rocket-plane for interplanetarian communications. Around the builder of this rocket-plane M-2 D-503 is developped the main intrigue.
D-503 is evidently one of the most able engineers of his epoch and he seems to be one of the most typical representatives of the mechanized „happy" humanity. During the usual walk (accompanied by the music of „Musical Works" trumpets) D-503 makes the acquaintance of a woman 1-330 which posseses some irony, has something incomprehensible for D-503 and therefore hostile for him as for the rationalized man; nevertheless this „incomprehensible" is attracting him, to his astonishment.
1-330 presents to him a „rosy ticket" and D-503 comes to see her at the appointed time. As it is used here in such a case, at the glass room are already lowered the curtains, but instead of simple „rational act" the hostess 1-330 smokes, to awe of her visitor, ancient „cigarettes"; she drinks some green spirit drink and the worse, while kissing makes him to gulp it too. These poisons – nicotin and alcool at the rationalized State, had been, of course, prohibited by a long ago and D-503 ought to go to the State’s „Guardians’ Bureau" and to let them know the crime, but he does not feel he has enough force to do it and because of this he himself becomes a part of the crime…
By-and-by he is convinced that he got this dangerous illness – „love about which he has read but in ancient books of the 20-th century… This is complicated with his relations to some other woman 0-90; it appears that even such a „nonsense" as a jealousy is existing, not only in the ancient books, for 0-90 is jealous of him regarding 1-330. And what is still worse – 0-90 likes to bear a child of him, though she has not right to do it, for she does not satisfy to the „Mothers’ Standard" set off by the State. In the paroxysme of desasperation and weekness of will, D-503 agrees to give her this child and the woman 0-90 is threatened in the nearest future with the awful „Gooddoers’ Machine" (the „Gooddoer" is a State’s Chief, elected every year, and he is executing by his own hands the annihilation of criminals by means of this Machine; it is a very quick and esthetic operation – the dissociation of matter with some rays and after a second of what once had been a man was not left but a plash of water and a handful of ash…).
In the meantime meetings of D-503 with this misterious woman 1-330 are going on. One of meetings is arranged at „The Ancient House", which has been kept, as a musem example, from times of 20-th century. Here 1-330 receives D-503, having put on a fascinating „ancient" dress of 20-th century, instead of the usual grey-bluish uniform. While changing this dress again for the uniform, she asks D-503 not to look at her for a time. He does not see her but hears the rustle of the silk, the screak of the mirror door of a wardrob, he wants to rush to her, to embrace her… But when he turns, he sees that 1-330 suddenly vanished – where to and how it is quite inconceivable…
During some days he is looking for her, longing at her. There happen some dramatic encounters of D-503 with the woman 0-90 who is in await of a child and then – of death under the terrible „Machine". D-503 finds the only forgetting in his work. The „Integral’s" construction is already ended and soon has to proceed her „maidenflight" in the stratosphere.
Grieving, D-503 comes once more to this room of the „Ancient House", where took place his last rendez-vous with 1-330. He opens the wardrob door – and behold! – the floor of the wardrob is coming down under his feet, he is lowering somewhere down further and further and at last sees himself in some subterraneous place. He considers that this probably is a place where has been the „undergrounds" of the „ancients" of 20-th century. But why then this place is now lighted with electric bulbs? Looking for an exit of this labyrinthus he comes to some door, behind which some voices are heard. He knocks at the door and his acquaintance, a doctor, to which he applied recently to be cured of „love", comes out to meet him. The doctor, without any explanations, is hastily leading him out to the yard of the „Ancient House"…
The day of the „Gooddoer’s" elections this year is finished up with an unprecedented in the history of the new humanity scandal: instead of an almost religious ceremony of the unanimous voting, some group is voting against – to the perplexity and dread of the others… Here at last D-503 meets his love 1-330. She gives the promise to make clear everything what is an enigma to him yet up and some days later he comes down again to this subterraneous place, where he was once, but this time she accompanies him.
The door in the end of this labyrinthus appears to be an exit to a quite new to him world behind the „Green Wall“. It is an impetuous world of elements, of nature, of trees, herbs and birds – and some men also, to the great surprise of D-503. But there men during ages have been living here quite independently of the urban men, of the machinehumanity, who had supposed that this race of „wild“ men had died out a long ago. People of the world behind the „Green Wall“ are cheerful, lively, they do not know the urban chemical nourishment, they are eating some ancient „bread“, they are drinking some ancient „wine“, they walk quite naked and their skin is covered with a hair – shining and beautiful and very similar of a horse hair…
The woman 1-330 believes that the human happiness is in the synthesis of primitive life of this „wild“ mankind with the urban mankind s life. She reveals to D-503 that there is a conspiracy against the urban State and that during the trial fly of the „Integral“ to the stratosphere conspirators will seize the „Integral“, which will give them the powerful arm against the urban State. D-503 has– no power to betray the conspirators, for this would destine to death his love 1-330 first of all…