The trial fly of the „Integral“ proceeds. 1-330 partakes as a radiotelegraphist. But in the very moment, when the conspirators were ready to seize the „Integral“, their conspiracy is revealed and consequently the „Integral“ happens to be kept in the hands of the urban State. The woman 1-330 is quite sure that they have been betrayed by D-503. He understands that now 1-330 is lost for him for ever. And the main thing is that he, beyond of his will, was in fact the cause of conspiracy failure – all the dramatic events of last days he was registering at his diary and this diary was read by the agent of the State…
Next morning at the „State paper“ are published sensational news about the conspiracy and in conjunction with it the new State edict of the „Great Operation“. This „Great Operation“ consists of a cauterizing, by means of X-rays, of one of brain centres – namely, of the centre of the fancy, what leads to the full annihilation of the fancy in a human being, and then, having the fancy annihilated, the mankind will not try any more to come out of the state of the great mechanical standardized happiness, in other words – the mankind will be really happy for ever… Therefore all are obliged to submit to the „Great Operation" and everybody refusing will be forced to do it, for everybody ought to be happy…
But evidently not all desire this obligatory mechanical happiness and because of this a revolt begins in the city. Against mutineers are sent detachments of those who have been already operated, who had already no fancy, who are sweeping all in their way as some tanks.
D-503 is seized and submitted to the „Great Operation". At once he is quieted and comes back to his former ideally mechanical state of mind. Now all is again quite simple and clear to him, he calmly appears before the „Gooddoer" and relates him all what he knew about the conspiracy and about the participation of 1-330 in it. Then without any hesitation he comes, in the head of a detachment of „Operated", in order to find and arrest 1-330, his former love. But suddenly this detachment stops in great perplexity and then starts the retreat: first time after many centuries in the streets appeared birds, animals, on the glass pavement are dispersed bright flowers – the „Green Wall" is indeed!
Замечания к «первому переводу»
Хотя текст переведен на английский достаточно точно и бегло, он изобилует языковыми ошибками и стилистическими погрешностями; очевидно, что перевод сделан не носителем языка, – это мы вполне можем ожидать от тех, кто владеет английским подобно Замятину. Пунктуация и графика местами несет на себе следы иноязычного (русского) влияния: кавычки выглядят как „вместо англоязычных " ”, причем закрывающая стоит перед точкой или запятой, а не после, как в английской традиции, а буква «д» имеет русское начертание. Орфографические ошибки вроде «desasperation» и «paroxysme» заставляют предположить французское влияние: после изгнания из СССР Замятин жил в Париже. Английские фразы нередко звучат неестественно и неуклюже, но признаков исправлений, сделанных другой рукой, нет. Мы увидим, что во «втором переводе» многие отрывки значительно улучшены.
Сомнительно, что Замятин мог как-то воздействовать в 1924 году на первого переводчика романа на английский Г. Зильбурга. Кроме того, писатель умер задолго до появления других переводов романа на английский язык. Интересно, что некоторые выражения он переводит в манере, совершенно отличной от Зильбурга или кого-либо еще[101]. «Благодетель» переводится как «Gooddoer», в отличие от «Welldoer» у Зильбурга или «Benefactor» у других переводчиков. «Единое Государство» передается как «the State», часто «the urban State», вместо «the United State» Зильбурга, или более точного перевода «One State», или «Single State»[102]. Во многих случаях это можно счесть очередным свидетельством «иностранного акцента» в английской речи Замятина. При этом есть и смысловые нюансы, значимые для нашей интерпретации «Мы»: например, здесь особо подчеркивается различие между тем, что делается внутри и снаружи Зеленой Стены. Есть незначительные изменения в сюжете. Ю и R-13 отсутствуют – возможно, из-за краткости текста, естественной при адаптации романа для кино. Дневник Д-503 значительно сокращен, почти наверняка из-за перехода повествования от первого лица к рассказу предположительно от третьего лица, хотя Д-503 продолжает играть в каждой сцене определенную роль. Но теперь Д-503 выполняет более активные действия в преследовании 1-330: он даже возглавляет отряд, направленный ее арестовать. Но никакого ареста не происходит. Усеченная концовка сценария, по-видимому, указывает на распад государства – русский оригинал заканчивается разрушением Зеленой Стены. Сказанное станет яснее, когда мы обратимся ко «второму переводу» на английский.
Copyright by E. ZAMIATINE, PARIS[103]
D-503
Synopsis of a film scenario from the novel – „WE“ by ZAMIATIN, New York: E. P Dutton, Paris: Nouvelle Revue Franchise
A town constructed geometrically of glass. The houses are entirely transparent. It is as if there were no walls, you can see all the different rooms with their identical furniture and the people in them.
Men and women are both dressed in the same uniform made of dark grey material. Around the town is the „green wall“ a glass structure which shuts out the rest of the world in which are still found the elements of nature. No one from the new glass town has passed this wall for centuries.
We are transported into a period a thousand years from to-day. All the revolutions for which our generations wait have been successfully undergone. The whole of life is reasonable and ordered, including love itself. Each person is subject to medical examination and a certain sexual activity is accorded to each person on this basis. In this connection each individual is given a „pink certificate“ defining his or her sexual activity.
The fulfilment of sexual desire must be regulated by this certificate and any infringement of the regulations in this respect is treated by the state as a crime and punished as such.
Humanity, or at least the supreme authorities are so firmly convinced that the maximum of earthly happiness has been attained that they determine to transmit the secret of this happiness to other planets. With this idea in mind a rocket is designed under the direction of D-503 (names have of course been replaced by letters and numbers) which is destined to provide a means of communication with other planets. The present story centres around this rocket and its constructor.
D-503 is one of the most gifted engineers of his time and he seems to be a typical specimen of the happy, mecanised humanity of his time. One day during one of the scheduled outings made by fours to the sounds of music from the music factory, D-503 meets a woman y-330. There is something enigmatic about her that D-503 cannot explain, there is a certain mysterious irony about her which should by rights repel a perfect specimen of mecanised humanity such as himself but which, to his own astonishment, actually attracts him irresistibly to her. One day Y-330 presents him with the significant „pink certificate" and he goes to her room at the appointed time. As is customary under the circumstances, the glass walls are screened with blinds but instead of surrendering herself to him in the rational manner Y-330 merely excites him and keeps him at a distance.
He sees with horror and indignation that she smokes „cigarettes" (now regarded as an ancient custom of bygone days) and drinks a beverage containing alcohol (likewise a custom which has been discarded). And, what is very much worse she forces him to imbibe some of the obnoxious liquid by kissing him on the mouth and injecting some by force.
The consumption of these two poisons – alcohol and nicotine – is of course forbidden in the rationalised state and D-503 knows that it is his duty as a loyal citizen to report Y-330 for her crime. However, he does not feel capable of doing this and he therefore automatically becomes an accomplice in it. Gradually he realized that he is falling ill of the disease called „love" which is treated at some length in the ancient books of the XXth century. Things are complicated by the fact that D-503 has had relations with another woman 0-90. And here we learn that JEALOUSY is still a reality and not simply the worn out theses of XX-th century novels. 0-90 is jealous of Y-330. Worse still she wishes to have a child by D-503 although she has no right to do so because she does not come up to the State health standard for mothers. In a moment of unpardonable weakness and despair D-503 agrees to give her this child and the „Benefaction Machine" will soon punish O-90’s crime…
The Benefactor is the head of the state and he is elected every year. He executes all criminals personally. One of the execution is shown, that of a poet who has dared to write ironic verses about the Benefactor….The execution is carried out by means of a dis-association of the body matter taking less than a second, of the human being nothing remains but a little heap of cinders and a small pool of pure water.
However, meetings between D-503 and the mysterious Y-330 continue. One of these meetings takes place in an old house which has been retained as a museum of the XX-th century. Y-330 receives D-503 in a XX-th century period dress instead of the ordinary uniform. She asks to turn his back while she changes into her uniform in front of an antique wardrobe which a mirror door. He hears the squeak of the wardrobe door and turns to take Y-330 into his arms but she has suddenly disappeared in the most inexplicable fashion.
For several days he hunts for her sadly, wishing beyond everything to see her again. In the meantime the rocket has been finished and is being tested out at the factory. There is a dramatic meeting between 0-90 who is expecting her child and D-503. Overcome with misery D-503 goes back to the room in the XX-th century museum where Y-330 had so mysteriously disappeared. He opens the door of the wardrobe and suddenly the floor beneth his feet gives away so that he finds himself in an underground room. He presumes that it must have formed part of the old XX-th century underground railway system but all of a sudden he notices that it is lighted by electricity and must therefore be inhabited. He goes to a door from which the noise of voices comes, he knocks and a doctor comes out – the same whom D-503 had recently consulted with regard to his „Love" disease. The doctor, without explanation leads him back by a secret way into the courtyard of the museum. Finally the great day of the Benefactor’s election arrives. The day ends with a scandal unprecedented in the history of the new humanity: instead of the purely formal ceremony of voting in which the ballots have always been unanimous the election is impeded by an opposition vote. A small section of the public votes against the candidate. In the midst of the resulting panic, D-503 again meets his love Y-330. She promises to explain everything to him and a few days afterwards he again descends with her into the same underground room where he had met the doctor.