И в ссоре, и в радости. Как счастливые пары используют конфликты, чтобы стать ближе — страница 56 из 57


Без всех вас мы бы потерпели полный провал. Поэтому перед всеми партнерами в нашем жизненном начинании мы склоняем головы в глубокой сердечной благодарности.

Примечания

1. Roi Estlein, Ateret Gewirtz-Meydan, and Eugenia Opuda, “Love in the Time of COVID-19: A Systematic Mapping Review of Empirical Research on Romantic Relationships One Year into the COVID-19 Pandemic,” Family Process 61, no. 3 (September 2022): 1208–28. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12775.

2. Lynn Gigy and Joan B. Kelly, “Reasons for Divorce: Perspectives of Divorcing Men and Women,” Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 18, no. 1–2 (October 18, 2008): 169–88. https://doi.org/10.1300/J087v18n01_08.

3. J. M. Gottman, “The Roles of Conflict Engagement, Escalation, and Avoidance in Marital Interaction: A Longitudinal View of Five Types of Couples,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 61, no. 1 (February 1993): 6–15.

4. John Mordechai Gottman and Robert Wayne Levenson, “The Timing of Divorce: Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce over a 14-Year Period,” Journal of Marriage and Family 62, no. 3 (August 2000): 737–45. https://doi.org/10.1111 /j.1741–3737.2000.00737.x.

5. John M. Gottman, Janice Driver, and Amber Tabares, “Repair During Marital Conflict in Newlyweds: How Couples Move from Attack – Defend to Collaboration,” Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 26, no. 2 (June 2015): 85–108. https://doi.org/10.1080/08975353.2015.1038962.

6. John Gottman and Julie Gottman, “The Natural Principles of Love,” Journal of Family Theory & Review 9, no. 1 (March 2, 2017): 7–26. https://doi.org/10.1111 /jftr.12182.

7. Gottman and Levenson, “The Timing of Divorce,” 737–45. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741–3737.2000.00737.x

8. Gottman, Driver, and Tabares, “Repair During Marital Conflict in Newlyweds,” 85–108. https://doi.org/10.1080/08975353.2015.1038962.

9. John M. Gottman et al., “Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples About to Begin Couples Therapy: An Online Relationship Assessment of 40,681 Couples,” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 46, no. 2 (April 2020): 218–39. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12395.

ПОЧЕМУ МЫ ССОРИМСЯ

1. James Coan and John M. Gottman, “The Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF),” in Handbook of Emotion Elicitation and Assessment, ed. James A. Coan and John J. B. Allen (New York: Oxford University Press, 2007), 267–85.

2. John Mordechai Gottman, Marital Interactions: Experimental Investigations (New York: Academic Press, 1979).

3. John Mordechai Gottman and Robert Wayne Levenson, “A Two-Factor Model for Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce: Exploratory Analyses Using 14-Year Longitudinal Data,” Family Process 41, no. 1 (Spring 2002): 83–96. https://doi.org /10.1111/j.1545–5300.2002.40102000083.x.

4. Claus Wedekind, Thomas Seebeck, Florence Bettens, and Alexander J. Paepke, “MHC-Dependent Mate Preferences in Humans,” Proceedings: Biological Sciences 260, no. 1359 (June 22, 1995): 245–49.

5. John Mordechai Gottman, What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1994).

6. A. F. Shapiro, J. M. Gottman, and S. Carrére, “The Baby and the Marriage: Identifying Factors That Buffer Against Decline in Marital Satisfaction After the First Baby Arrives,” Journal of Family Psychology 14, no. 1 (March 2000): 59–70. https://doi.org/10.1037//0893-3200.14.1.59.PMID:10740682.

7. Nicole A. Roberts and Robert W. Levenson, “The Remains of the Workday: Impact of Job Stress and Exhaustion on Marital Interaction in Police Couples,” Journal of Marriage and Family 63, no. 4 (November 2001): 1052–67, https://doi. org/10.1111/j.1741–3737.2001.01052.x.

8. Lowell J. Krokoff, “The Correlates of Negative Affect in Marriage: An Exploratory Study of Gender Differences,” Journal of Family Issues 8, no. 1 (March 1987): 111–35. https://doi.org/10.1177/019251387008001006.

9. J. M. Gottman and L. J. Krokoff, “The Relationship Between Marital Interaction and Marital Satisfaction: A Longitudinal View,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 57, no. 1 (February 1989): 47–52.

10. Richard J. Davidson et al., “Approach-Withdrawal and Cerebral Asymmetry: Emotional Expression and Brain Physiology,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 58, no. 2 (March 1990): 330–41. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.58.2.330.

ПОЧЕМУ МЫ ССОРИМСЯ ИМЕННО ТАК

1. J. M. Gottman, “The Roles of Conflict Engagement, Escalation, and Avoidance in Marital Interaction: A Longitudinal View of Five Types of Couples,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 61, no. 1 (February 1993): 6–15.

2. P. G. Ashford et al.,eds., The Collected Papers of Lewis Fry Richardson, vol. 1. (Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press, 2009).

3. Graham B. Spanier, review of Communication, Conflict, and Marriage, by Harold L. Rausch, William A. Barry, Richard K. Hertel, and Mary Ann Swain, Journal of Marriage and Family 37, no. 1 (February 1975): 236–38, https://doi.org/10.2307 /351050.

4. Gottman, Marital Interactions.

5. John M. Gottman and Robert W. Levenson, “Marital Processes Predictive of Later Dissolution: Behavior, Physiology, and Health,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 63, no. 2 (1992): 221–33. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.63.2.221.

6. Rachel Ebling and Robert W. Levenson, “Who Are the Marital Experts?”, Journal of Marriage and Family 65, no. 1 (February 2003): 130–42. https://doi.org/10. 1111/j.1741–3737.2003.00130.x.

7. John Mordechai Gottman and Robert Wayne Levenson, “What Predicts Change in Marital Interactions over Time? A Study of Alternative Models,” Family Process 38, no. 2 (June 1999): 143–58. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545–5300.1999.00143.x.

8. Rand Conger et al., eds., Families in Troubled Times: Adapting to Change in Rural America (New York: Aldine de Gruyter, 1994).

9. Gottman et al., “Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples About to Begin Couples Therapy: An Online Relationship Assessment of 40,681 Couples,” 218–39.

10. John Mordechai Gottman, Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love (New York: Routledge, 2014).

11. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

ЧТО КРОЕТСЯ ЗА НАШИМИ ССОРАМИ

1. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

2. John M. Gottman, The Science of Trust (New York: Norton, 2011).

3. Belinda Campos et al., “Opportunity for Interaction? A Naturalistic Observation Study of Dual-Earner Families After Work and School,” Journal of Family Psychology 23, no. 6 (December 2009): 798–807. https://doi.org/10.1037 /a0015824.

4. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

5. Gottman and Gottman, “The Natural Principles of Love,” 7–26. https://doi.org /10.1111/jftr.12182.

6. N. S. Jacobson et al., “Psychological Factors in the Longitudinal Course of Battering: When Do Couples Split Up? When Does the Abuse Decrease?” Violence and Victims 11, no. 4 (Winter 1996): 371–92.

7. Renay P. Cleary Bradley and John M. Gottman, “Reducing Situational Violence in Low-Income Couples by Fostering Healthy Relationships,” Journal of Marital Family Therapy 38, no. 1 (June 2012): 187–98. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752–0606.2012.00288.x.

8. Neil Jacobson and John Gottman, When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1998).

9. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, 2020 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH): Methodological Summary and Definitions. Rockville, MD: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov/data/.

10. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2020 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).

11. Julia C. Babcock et al., “A Component Analysis of a Brief Psycho-Educational Couples’ Workshop: One-Year Follow-Up Results,” Journal of Family Therapy, 35, no. 3 (August 2013): 252–280. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12017.

12. Debra Trampe, Jordi Quoidbach, and Maxime Taquet, “Emotions in Everyday Life,” Plos One 10, no. 12 (December 23, 2015): e0145450. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0145450.

13. Jennifer S. Lerner et al., “Emotion and Decision Making,” Annual Review of Psychology 66 (2015): 799–823. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213 -115043.

ССОРА № 1. Сброс бомбы

1. John M. Gottman, “The Mathematics of Marital Conflict: Qualitative Dynamic Mathematical Modeling of Marital Interaction,” Journal of Family Psychology 9, no. 2 (1995): 110–30.

2. S. Carrère and J. M. Gottman, “Predicting Divorce Among Newlyweds from the First Three Minutes of a Marital Conflict Discussion,” Family Process 38, no. 3 (Fall 1999): 293–301.

3. Gottman et al., “Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples About to Begin Couples Therapy: An Online Relationship Assessment of 40,681 Couples,” 218–39. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12395.

4. Anatol Rapoport, Fights, Games, and Debates (Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press, 1970).

5. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

ССОРА № 2. Потоп

1. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

2. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce.

3. Gottman et al., “Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples About to Begin Couples Therapy,” 218–239. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12395.

4. Eugene T. Gendlin, Focusing: A Step-by-Step Technique That Takes You Past Getting in Touch with Your Feelings – To Change Them and Solve Your Personal Problems, 2nd rev. ed. (New York: Bantam, 1982).

5. Gottman, Driver, and Tabares, “Repair During Marital Conflict in Newlyweds,” 85–108. https://doi.org/10.1080/08975353.2015.1038962.

6. Gottman, Driver, and Tabares, “Repair During Marital Conflict in Newlyweds,” 85–108. https://doi.org/10.1080/08975353.2015.1038962.