14. Christianna Silva, “The Millennial Obsession with Self-Care,” Health: NPR, June 4, 2017, https://www.npr. org/2017/06/04/531051473/the-millennial-obsession-with-self-care.
15. “Parenting in America (2015 Survey Report),” Pew Research Center, December 17, 2015, https://www. pewresearch. org/social-trends /2015/12/17/parenting-in-america/.
16. “Parenting in America,” Pew Research Center.
Глава вторая. Заботьтесь о себе так же, как вы заботитесь о своих детях
1. «Motherly’s 2020 State of Motherhood Survey Results,» Motherly, May 6, 2020, https://www. mother. ly/news/state-of-motherhood-survey/.
2. Jessica Bennett et al., «The Primal Scream: America’s Mothers Are in Crisis,» New York Times, February 4, 2021, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/04/parenting/working-moms-mental-health-coronavirus. html.
3. Эмили и Амелия Нагоски. Выгорание. Новый подход к избавлению от стресса (New York: Ballantine Books, 2019), 8.
4. Radostina K. Purvanova and John P. Muros, «Gender Differences in Burnout: A Meta-Analysis,» Journal of Vocational Behavior 77, no. 2 (October 2010): 168–85, https://doi. org/10.1016/j. jvb.2010.04.006.
5. Дональд В. Винникотт. Игра и реальность. (1971; repr., New York: Routledge Classics, 2005), 13.
6. Laura M. Padilla-Walker and Larry J. Nelson, «Black Hawk Down? Establishing Helicopter Parenting as a Distinct Construct from Other Forms of Parental Control During Emerging Adulthood,» Journal of Adolescence 35, no. 5 (October 2012): 1177–90, https://doi. org/10.1016/j. adolescence.2012.03.007.
7. Holly H. Schiffrin et al., “Helping or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on College Students’ Well-Being,” Journal of Child and Family Studies 23, no. 3 (February 2013): 548–57, https://doi. org/10.1007/s10826-013-9716-3.
8. Suzanne Simard, Intelligent Trees, directed by Julia Dordel and Guido Tölke (Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany: Dorcon Film, 2016), streaming video, 45:00, https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Trees-Peter-Wohlleben/dp/B01LWIEY4F.
9. Simard, Intelligent Trees.
10. Akira Shimizu et al., “Fine-Tuned Bee-Flower Coevolutionary State Hidden Within Multiple Pollination Interactions,” Scientific Reports 4 (February 2014), https://doi. org/10.1038/srep03988.
11. Эбигейл Такер. Мамин мозг. Как понять себя, чтобы стать идеальной мамой для своего ребенка. (New York: Gallery Books, 2021), 1.
12. Mads Kamper-Jorgensen et al., «Male Microchimerism and Survival Among Women,» International Journal of Epidemiology 43, no. 1 (February 2014): 168–73, https://doi. org/10.1093/ije/dyt230.
Глава четвертая. Шаг 1. Познавайте себя и других
1. Jean Laplanche and Jean-Bertrand Pontalis, “Compulsion to Repeat (Repetition Compulsion),” in The Language of Psychoanalysis (1967; repr., New York: Routledge, 2018), 19.
Глава пятая. Шаг 2. Скорректируйте то, во что верите
1. Brené Brown, Brené Brown: The Call to Courage, directed by Sandra Restrepo (Los Angeles: Netflix, 2019), https://www. netflix. com/title/81010166.
2. Brian Tracy, “Focus Your Mind: Brian Tracy’s Philosophy on Achieving Success,” Law of Attraction, March 26, 2023, YouTube video, 13:05, https://www. youtube. com/watch?app=desktop&v=QV0ASJO6Ji8.
3. Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us (London: HarperCollins, 2011), 5–6.
4. Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock, and Devra Renner, Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids (New York: Amacom, 2005), 4.
5. Обратите внимание: исключением из правила быстрых корректировок является то, что в разные периоды жизни могут возникать новые ожидания или недостижимые стандарты. Помните, я упоминала о дремлющих зачатках убеждений, которые при определенных обстоятельствах начинают прорастать? Вот именно об этом я и говорю. Становление матерью может создать одни условия, важные этапы школьной жизни – другие, а этап, когда дети вырастают и начинают самостоятельную жизнь, – третьи. Держите этот раздел под рукой, чтобы в моменты больших перемен вы могли снова обратиться к этому упражнению.
Глава шестая. Шаг 3. Смело заявляйте о своих нуждах
1. John Bowlby, «The Nature of the Child’s Tie to His Mother,» International Journal of Psychoanalysis 39 no. 5 (September – October 1958): 350–73, https://pubmed. ncbi. nlm. nih. gov/13610508/.
2. Robbie Duschinsky, “Chapter 2: Mary Ainsworth and the Strange Situation Procedure,” in Cornerstones of Attachment Research (Clarendon: Oxford University Press, 2020), 109–210, https://doi. org/10.1093/med-psych /9780198842064.003.0002.
3. Stan Tatkin, Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Diffuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2011); Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and KeepLove (New York: TarcherPerigee, 2010).
4. Judith A. Crowell, Dominique Treboux, and Everett Waters, “Stability of Attachment Representations: The Transition to Marriage,” Developmental Psychology 38, no. 4 (2002): 467–79, https://doi. org/10.1037//0012–1649.38.4.467; Diane Felmlee and Susan Sprecher, “Close Relationships and Social Psychology: Intersections and Future Paths,” Social Psychology Quarterly 63, no. 4 (December 2000): 365–76, https://doi. org/10.2307 /2695846.
5. John W. Thibaut and Harold H. Kelley, The Social Psychology of Groups (New York: Routledge, 1959), https://doi. org/10.4324/9781315135007. George Caspar Homans, Social Behavior: Its Elementary Forms (New York: Harcourt, Brace, and World, 1961); Peter M. Blau, “Justice in Social Exchange,” Sociological Inquiry 34, no. 2 (April 1964): 193–206, http://dx. doi. org/10.1111/j.1475–682X.1964. tb00583. x.
Глава седьмая. Шаг 4. Берите на себя обязательства с умом
1. Roy F. Baumeister et al., «Ego Depletion: Is the Active Self a Limited Resource?» Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 74, no. 5 (1998): 1252–65, https://doi.org/10.1037/0022–3514.74.5.1252.
2. June J. Pilcher et al., “Interactions Between Sleep Habits and Self-Control,” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 9 (May 2015): 284, https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2015.00284; Susan L. Worley, “The Extraordinary Importance of Sleep: The Detrimental Effects of Inadequate Sleep on Health and Public Safety Drive an Explosion of Sleep Research,” Pharmacy and Therapeutics 43, no. 12 (December 2018): 758–63.
3. Sara W. Lazar et al., “Meditation Experience Is Associated with Increased Cortical Thickness,” Neuroreport 16, no. 17 (November 2005): 1893–97.
4. Alison Reynard et al., “Heart Rate Variability as a Marker of SelfRegulation,” Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback 36, no. 3 (July 2011): 209–15, https://doi. org/10.1007/s10484-011-9162-1.
Глава восьмая. Шаг 5. Прикасайтесь осознанно
1. Grace J. Chan et al., “What Is Kangaroo Mother Care? Systematic Review of the Literature,” Journal of Global Health 6, no. 1 (June 2016): 1–9, https://doi. org/10.7189/jogh.06.010701.
2. Ann-Marie Widström et al., “Skin-to-Skin Contact the First Hours After Birth, Underlying Implications and Clinical Practice,” Acta Paediatrica 108, no. 7 (July 2019): 1192–204, https://doi. org/10.1111/apa.14754.
3. Sanyukta Golaya, “Touch-Hunger: An Unexplored Consequence of the COVID‑19 Pandemic,” Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine 43, no. 4 (July 2021): 362–63, https://doi. org/10.1177/02537176211014469; Mariana von Mohr, Louise P. Kirsch, and Aikaterini Fotopoulou, “Social Touch Deprivation During COVID‑19: Effects on Psychological Wellbeing and Craving Interpersonal Touch,” Royal Society Open Science 8, no. 9 (September 2021), https://doi. org/10.1098/rsos.210287; Joanne Durkin, Debra Jackson, and Kim Usher, “Touch in Times of COVID‑19: Touch Hunger Hurts,” Journal of Clinical Nursing 30, no. 1–2 (January 2021): e4–e5, https://doi.org/10.1111/jocn.15488.
4. Harry F. Harlow, “The Nature of Love,” American Psychologist 13, no. 12 (1958): 673–85, https://doi. org/10.1037/h0047884.
5. Jill Littrell, “The Mind-Body Connection: Not Just a Theory Anymore,” Social Work in Health Care 46, no. 4 (November 2007): 17–37, https://doi. org/10.1300/J010v46n04_02.
6. Fariha Angum et al., “The Prevalence of Autoimmune Disorders in Women: A Narrative Review,” Cureus 12 no. 5 (May 2020): e8094, https://doi. org/10.7759 %2Fcureus.8094; Glinda S. Cooper and Berrit C. Stroehla, “The Epidemiology of Autoimmune Disease,” Autoimmunity Reviews 2, no. 3 (May 2003): 119–25.
7. Ljudmila Stojanovich and Dragomir Marisavljevich, “Stress as a Trigger of Autoimmune Disease,” Autoimmunity Reviews 7, no. 3 (January 2008): 209–13, https://doi.org/10.1016/j. autrev.2007.11.007.
8. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (New York: Ballantine Books, 2019), 15.
9. Ibid. p. 21.
10. Eric Suni, “How Much Sleep Do We Really Need?” National Sleep Foundation, updated March 22, 2023, http://www. sleepfoundation.org/article/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need.
11. Elizabeth Scott, “How to Relieve Stress with Art Therapy,” Verywell Mind, January 24, 2020, https://www. verywellmind. com/art-therapy-relieve-stress-by-being-creative‑3144581.
12. Kelly McGonigal, “How to Make Stress Your Friend,” TED video, September 4, 2013, streaming video, 13:55, https://www. ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend. Доступно также на Ютуб https://www. youtube. com/watch?v=aPBKHImw9d0.