13. Lavretsky, “Stress and Depression.”
1. The term delicious ambiguity was coined by therapist Joanna Bull of the Wellness Center, Santa Monica, California. See G. Radner, It’s Always Something (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989), 195. [46]
2. Radner, It’s Always Something, 268.
3. K. Tippett, host and producer, “Alzheimer’s, Memory and Being,” On Being, American Public Media, April 22, 2010. Transcript available at http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2010/alzheimers/transcript.shtml. [47]
4. B. Howard, “The Secrets of Resilient People,” AARP, November-December 2009, 32, 34–35.
5. L. S. Brady, “No Tethering, and It’s All Good,” The New York Times, September 26, 2010, 17.
6. AARP, “How Resilient Are You?” AARP, November-December 2009, 34. Adapted from A. Seibert, The Resiliency Advantage (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2005). [48]
7. C. Connolly, “Leaving,” All This and More: New and Selected Poems (Minneapolis, MN: Nodin, 2009), 40. Also see C. Connolly, Payments Due (St. Paul, MN: Midwest Villages & Voices, 1995). [49]
8. P. Hampl, The Florist’s Daughter (Orlando, FL: Harcourt, 2007), 213–214.
9. Hampl, Florist’s Daughter, 211.
10. C. Stangl, Third Play Guide (Minneapolis, MN: Guthrie Theater, February 16–March 30, 2008).
11. J. P. Shanley, “Preface,” Doubt: A Parable (New York: Dramatists Play Service, 2005), ix – x.
12. Elsewhere I have written in detail about spirituality in relation to ambiguous loss and why some people may be more tolerant of ambiguity than others. See P. Boss, Loss, Trauma, and Resilience (New York: Norton, 2006). Personality and upbringing matter. For our purposes here, however, know that you can learn to increase your tolerance for ambiguity. The goal is to manage complex situations that have no apparent solution. People with a spiritual worldview tend to be able to do this. They live life as it comes. Native Americans call it “harmony with nature.” Also see P. Boss, Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1999). [50]
13. M. S. Lane and K. Klenke, “The Ambiguity Tolerance Interface: A Modified Social Cognitive Model for Leading Under Uncertainty,” Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies 10 (Winter 2004): doi:10.1177/107179190401000306.
14. J. D. Wigod, “Negative Capability and Wise Passiveness,” PMLA 67 (June 1952): 383–390.
15. M. H. Forman, ed., The Letters of John Keats, 2nd ed. (New York: Oxford University Press, 1935), 72.
16. I. D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008, 2009).
17. Ibid., 5.
18. Ibid., 205.
19. Søren Kierkegaard is posthumously regarded as the father of existentialism. See G. Marino, “Søren Kierkegaard,” in Basic Writings of Existentialism (New York: Modern Library, 2004), 7–106. [51]
1. P. Mishra, An End to Suffering (New York: Picador, 2004).
2. Most early family therapists agreed with Murray Bowen, not Whitaker. Bowen wrote about a “solid self” that would not participate in fusion. However, he and other theorists of the day (Salvador Minuchin, David Olson, Douglas Sprenkle, and Candyce Russell) did not consider the fused attachments and unbalanced roles, when in older couples there may be dementia and caregiving. In such cases, a clear, solid sense of self is difficult to maintain, even for an emotionally healthy spouse. See M. Bowen, Family Therapy in Clinical Practice (New York: Aronson, 1978); S. Minuchin, Families and Family Therapy (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1974); and D. H. Olson, D. H. Sprenkle, and C. Russell, “Circumplex Model of Marital and Family Systems: I. Cohesion and Adaptability Dimensions, Family Types, and Clinical Applications,” Family Process 18, no. 1 (April 1979): 3–28. [52]
3. N. Noddings, Caring: A Feminine Approach to Ethics and Moral Education (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1984); A. Maslow, “A Theory of Motivation,” Psychological Review 50, no. 4 (1943): 370–396.
4. Noddings, Caring, 17–18.
5. K. Armstrong, The Spiral Staircase (New York: Knopf, 2004), 298.
6. P. Boss and L. Kaplan, “Ambiguous Loss and Ambivalence When a Parent Has Dementia,” in Intergenerational Ambivalences: New Perspectives on Parent-Child Relations in Later Life, ed. K. Pillemer and K. Luscher (Oxford, England: Elsevier, 2004), 207–224.
7. C. W. Sherman and P. Boss, “Spousal Dementia Caregiving in the Context of Late-Life Remarriage,” Dementia: The International Journal of Social Research and Practice 6 (May 2007): 245–270.
1. C. Goldman, The Gifts of Caregiving (Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press in cooperation with the Center for Spirituality and Healing, University of Minnesota, 2002), 37. [53]
2. E. Berscheid, “The Human’s Greatest Strength: Other Humans,” in A Psychology of Human Strengths, ed. L. G. Aspinwall and U. M. Staudinger (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2003). See also E. Berscheid and H. T. Reis, “Attraction and Close Relationships,” in The Handbook of Social Psychology, 4th ed., ed. D. T. Gilbert, S. T. Fiske, and G. Lindzey (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1998), 2:193–281. [54]
Примечание для людей, осуществляющих уход, о работе с медицинскими работниками
1. P. Boss, Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss (New York: Norton, 2006).
2. See R.-J. Green and P. D. Werner, “Intrusiveness and Closeness-Caregiving: Rethinking the Concept of Family Enmeshment,” Family Process 35 (1996): 115–136. [55]
3. V. Goldner, “Feminism and Family Therapy,” Family Process 24, no. 1 (1985): 31–47.
4. Salvador Minuchin, a pioneer family therapist, calls it “enmeshment” and gave the following indicators of dysfunction: “interdependence of relationships, intrusion on personal boundaries, poorly differentiated perceptions of self and of other family members, and weak family subsystem boundaries,” 1033. In S. Minuchin, L. Baker, B. L. Rosman, R. Liebman, L. Milman, and T. C. Todd, “A Conceptual Model of Psychosomatic Illness in Children,” Archives of General Psychiatry 32, no. 8 (1975): 1031–1038. See also S. Minuchin, Families and Family Therapy (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1974). [56]
5. N. L. Mace and P. V. Rabins, The 36-Hour Day (Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006).
6. American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th ed., text revision (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association, 2000), 679–683, 736–737.
Перевод комментариев автора из разделов «Источники» и «Примечания»
1. Lewis, R. W. (Ed.). Caregiver’s Support Kit. National Caregiving Foundation (1–800–930–1357). Бесплатно для людей, осуществляющих уход за больными.
2. Age Old Friends, 1989 (у друга деменция, оставлю ли я его?) Alzheimer’s: What Every African-American Needs to Know (Mayo Clinic, Jacksonville, FL); доступно на сайте: http://alzonline.phhp.ufl.edu/en/videos/124.php
3. A Song for Martin, 2001 (уход за больным); шведский фильм с английскими субтитрами
4. Aurora Borealis, 2006 (дедушка с деменцией)
5. Away from Her, 2007 (болезнь Альцгеймера и страдания мужа)
6. Complaints of a Dutiful Daughter, 1995 (дочь ухаживает за матерью с болезнью Альцгеймера)
7. Firefly Dreams, 2001 (молодой человек сначала сопротивляется ситуации, а затем связывается с женщиной, у которой болезнь Альцгеймера); Японский фильм с английскими субтитрами
8. Iris: A Memoir of Iris Murdoch, 2001 (любящая пара и деменция)
9. Is Anybody There? 2009 (о дружбе маленького мальчика и пожилого мужчины с деменцией)
10. The Forgetting: A Portrait of Alzheimer’s, 2008 (сериал PBS по книге Дэвида Шенка «Забвение»)
11. The Notebook, 2004 (о любви и деменции, есть также и книга)
12. The Savages, 2007 (братья и сестры с родителями, страдающими деменцией)
13. Alzheimer’s Association, 2011 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures (Chicago: Alzheimer’s Association National Office, 2011), 12. Смотрите: L. E. Hebert, P. A. Scherr, J. L. Bienias, D. A. Bennett, and D. A. Evans, “Alzheimer’s Disease in the U. S. Population: Prevalence Estimates Using the 200 °Census,” Archives of Neurology 60 (2003): 1119–1122; Alzheimer’s Association, Early-Onset Dementia: A National Challenge, a Future Crisis (Washington, DC: Alzheimer’s Association, June 2006). Доступно на сайте: www.alz.org.
14. Alzheimer’s Association, 2011 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, 14. Смотрите: L. E. Hebert, L. A. Beckett, P. A. Scherr, and D. A. Evans, “Annual Incidence of Alzheimer’s Disease in the United States Projected to the Years 2000 Through 2050,” Alzheimer’s Disease and Associated Disorders 15 (2001): 169–173.
15. Alzheimer’s Association, 2011 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, 14. Смотрите: Hebert, Beckett, Scherr, and Evans, “Annual Incidence of Alzheimer’s Disease.”
16. Alzheimer’s Association, 2011 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, 12. Смотрите: S. Seshadri, P. A. Wolf, A. Beiser, R. Au, K. McNulty, R. White, and R. B. D’Agostino, “Lifetime Risk of Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease: The Impact of Mortality on Risk Estimates in the Framingham Study,” Neurology 49 (1997): 1498–1504; L. E. Hebert, P. A. Scherr, J. J. McCann, L. A. Beckett, and D. A. Evans, “Is the Risk of Developing Alzheimer’s Disease Greater for Women Than for Men?” American Journal of Epidemiology 153, no. 2 (2001): 132–136.
17. Ibid., 25. Сморите: 2009 National Alliance for Caregiving/AARP Survey on Caregiving in the United States (Bethesda, MD: National Alliance for Caregiving and Washington, DC: AARP, 2009); данные были подготовлены для Ассоциации Альцгеймера по контракту с Matthew Greenwald and Associates, November 11, 2009. Смотрите также: MetLife Mature Market Institute, The MetLife Study of Alzheimer’s Disease: The Caregiving Experience (New York: MetLife Mature Market, 2006), www.maturemarketinstitute.com.