Сноски
1
Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, “Who Wants to Marry a Soul Mate?” The State of Our Unions (Piscataway, NJ: National Marriage Project, Rutgers, 2001).
2
Massachusetts General Hospital, “Social Connection Is the Strongest Protective Factor for Depression,” Science Daily, August 14, 2020, sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/08/200814131007.htm.
3
G. E. Vaillant and K. Mukamal, “Successful Aging,” American Journal of Psychiatry 158, № 6 (June 2001): 839–847, doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.158.6.839; George E. Vaillant, Adaptation to Life (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1995); George E. Vaillant, Aging Well (New York: Little, Brown, 2002).
4
R. D. Conger, M. Cui, C. M. Bryant, and G. H. Elder, “Competence in Early Adult Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective on Family Influences,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79, no. 2 (August 2000): 224–237, doi.org/10.1037//0022–3514.79.2.224; John M. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes (Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1994); R. W. Simon and K. Marcussen, “Marital Transitions, Marital Beliefs, and Mental Health,” Journal of Health and Social Behavior 40, № 2 (June 1999): 111–125.
5
John Bowlby, Loss: Sadness and Depression, vol. 3 of Attachment and Loss (New York: Basic Books, 1980).
6
J. T. Cacioppo and S. Cacioppo, “Social Relationships and Health: The Toxic Effects of Perceived Social Isolation,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass 8, № 2 (February 2014): 58–72, doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12087.
7
D. C. Jack, “Silencing the Self: Inner Dialogues and Outer Realities,” in The Interactional Nature of Depression: Advances in Interpersonal Approaches, ed. T. Joiner and J. C. Coyne (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1999), 225.
8
Джон Готтман – профессор психологии в Вашингтонском университете, завоевавший признание работами о стабильности в браке и вероятности разводов. На русском языке изданы его книги «Эмоциональный интеллект ребенка. Практическое руководство для родителей» (М.: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2014), «Как сохранить любовь в браке» (СПб.: Питер, 2014), «7 принципов счастливого брака, или Эмоциональный интеллект в любви» (М.: Эксмо, 2018) и другие. Здесь и далее прим. пер., если не указано иное.
9
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (New York: Little, Brown Spark, 2008).
10
R. J. Navarra and J. M. Gottman, “Sound Relationship House in Gottman Method Couples Therapy,” in Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy, ed. J. Lebow, A. Chambers, and D. Breunlin (New York: Springer, 2018), doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_208-1.
11
C. E. Rusbult and P. A. M. van Lange, “Interdependence, Interaction, and Relationships,” Annual Review of Psychology 54 (February 2003): 351–375, doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.54.101601.145059.
12
Eli J. Finkel, Jeffry A. Simpson, and Paul W. Eastwick, “The Psychology of Close Relationships: Fourteen Core Principles,” Annual Review of Psychology 68 (2017): 383–411, doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010416-044038.
13
K. T. Buehlman, J. M. Gottman, and L. F. Katz, “How a Couple Views Their Past Predicts Their Future: Predicting Divorce from an Oral History Interview,” Journal of Family Psychology 5, № 3–4 (1992): 295–318, doi.org/10.1037/0893–3200.5.3–4.295; J. Gottman and J. Gottman, “The Natural Principles of Love,” Journal of Family Theory and Review 9, № 1 (March 2017): 7–26, doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12182.
14
Maureen Werrbach, “Three Ways to Keep Your Relationship in the Positive Perspective,” Gottman Institute, November 16, 2016, gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/.
15
Harville Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (New York: Holt, 1988).
16
Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want.
17
N. L. Collins et al., “Working Models of Attachment: New Developments and Emerging Themes,” in Adult Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Implications, ed. W. S. Rholes and J. A. Simpson (New York: Guilford Press, 2004), 196–239.
18
C. Hazan and P. Shaver, “Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52, № 3 (1987): 511–524, doi.org/10.1037/0022–3514.52.3.511.
19
T. E. Trail et al, “The Costs of Racism for Marriage: How Racial Discrimination Hurts, and Ethnic Identity Protects, Newlywed Marriages among Latinos,” Personality and Social Psychological Bulletin 38, № 4 (2012): 454–465, doi.org/10.1177/0146167211429450.
20
Просоциальное поведение – осознанное стремление оказывать другим помощь, сотрудничать и т. д.
21
Toni Herbine-Blank, “Couples and Marriage Counseling with Internal Family Systems Therapy,” IFS Institute, ifs-institute.com/resources/articles.
22
Bumble – приложение для знакомств.
23
Thich Nhat Hanh, Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2006).
24
В соответствии с теорией внутренних семейных систем (Internal Family Systems) наш разум состоит из разных субличностей, каждая из которых обладает своими особенностями и взглядами на происходящее.
25
J. Earley, “A Sophisticated Approach to Healing Your Inner Child,” IFS Growth Programs, November 9, 2010, personal-growth-programs.com/a-sophisticated-approach-to-healing-your-inner-child/.
26
“The Internal Family Systems Model Outline,” IFS Institute, 2021, ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline.
27
Джон Кабат-Зинн (р. 1944) – американский профессор медицины, основатель Клиники снижения стресса (Stress Reduction Clinic), создатель метода «Снижение стресса на основе осознанности» (mindfulness-based stress reduction), автор книг.
28
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life (New York: Hyperion, 1994).
29
Scott Bishop et al., “Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition,” Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 11, № 3 (2004): 230–241, doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bph077.
30
Christopher Pepping, Analise O’Donovan, and Penelope Davis, “The Positive Effects of Mindfulness on Self Esteem,” Journal of Positive Psychology 8, № 5 (2013): 376–386, doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2013.807353.
31
J. Goetz, D. Keltner, and E. Simon-Thomas, “Compassion: An Evolutionary Analysis and Empirical Review,” Psychological Bulletin 136, № 3 (2010): 351–374, doi.org/10.1037/a0018807
32
Нефф К. Самосострадание. О силе сочувствия и доброты к себе / К. Нефф. Москва: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2021.
33
K. D. Neff, “Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself,” Self and Identity 2, № 2 (2003): 85–101, doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032.
34
K. D. Neff and S. N. Beretvas, “The Role of Self-Compassion in Romantic Relationships,” Self and Identity 12, № 1 (2013): 78–98, doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548.
35
M. E. Kerr and M. Bowen, Family Evaluation: An Approach Based on Bowen Theory (New York: W. W. Norton, 1988).
36
Дуэк К. Гибкое сознание. Новый взгляд на психологию развития взрослых и детей / К. Дуэк. Москва: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2021.
37
A. G. Grimmer, “The Nine-Part Model: A Tool for Sharing Dyadic Formulations,” Bristol CBT, 2013, bristolcbt.co.uk/publications/the-nine-part-model-dyadic-formulation.
38
E. A. Robinson, and M. G. Price, “Pleasurable Behavior in Marital Interaction: An Observational Study,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 48, № 1 (1980): 117–118, doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.48.1.117.
39
B. C. Feeney and N. L. Collins, “A New Look at Social Support: A Theoretical Perspective on Thriving Through Relationships,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 19, № 2 (May 2015): 113–147, doi.org/10.1177/1088868314544222.
40
Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy and Barbara Krasner, Between Give and Take: A Clinical Guide to Contextual Therapy (New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1986).
41
См. главу 1.
42
Нейротипичный – не страдающий расстройствами аутистического спектра.
43
N. Fow, “Partner-Focused Reversal in Couple Therapy,” Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 35, № 2 (1998): 231–237.
44
S. Cohen et al, “Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dyadic Contributions of Empathic Accuracy and Perceived Empathic Effort to Relationship Satisfaction,” Journal of Family Psychology 26, № 2 (2012): 236–245, doi.org/10.1037/a0027488.
45
Shirley Glass, Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity after Infidelity (New York: Atria Books, 2004).
46
J. Gale and B. Muruthi, “Triangles and Triangulation in Family Systems Theory,” in Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy, ed. J. Lebow, A. Chambers, and D. Breunlin (New York: Springer, 2017).
47
E. Lisitsa, “An Introduction to Emotional Bids and Trust,” Gottman Institute, August 31, 2012, gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotional-bids-and-trust/.
48
J. M. Gottman and J. DeClaire, The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers (New York: Crown Publishers, 2001).
49
В русском варианте – сказка о маленькой девочке и трех медведях. Главная героиня заблудилась в лесу и случайно нашла домик, в котором было несколько предметов, отличавшихся друг от друга по определенным свойствам. Из них девочка выбрала для себя наиболее подходящие. Также существует понятие «зона Златовласки», обозначающее такое космическое пространство, в котором находятся планеты, по свойствам своей поверхности схожие с Землей и теоретически способные стать местом для зарождения жизни.
50
S. Carrere and J. M. Gottman, “Predicting Divorce among Newlyweds from the First Three Minutes of a Marital Conflict Discussion,” Family Process 38, № 3 (1999): 293–301.
51
J. Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail… and How You Can Make Yours Last (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1995).
52
См. главу 6.
53
N. C. Overall and J. K. McNulty, “What Type of Communication During Conflict Is Beneficial for Intimate Relationships?” Current Opinion in Psychology 13 (February 2017): 1–5, doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002.
54
P. R. Giancola et al, “Applying the Attention-Allocation Model to the Explanation of Alcohol-Related Aggression: Implications for Prevention, Substance Use & Misuse 44, № 9–10 (2009): 1263–1279, doi.org/10.1080/10826080902960049.
55
S. W. Porges, The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation (New York: W. W. Norton, 2011).
56
F. D. Fincham, S. R. H. Beach, and J. Davila, “Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution in Marriage,” Journal of Family Psychology 18, № 1 (2004): 72–81, doi.org/10.1037/0893–3200.18.1.72.
57
L. B. Luchies et al, “The Doormat Effect: When Forgiving Erodes Self-Respect and Self-Concept Clarity,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98, № 5 (2010): 734–749, doi.org/10.1037/a0017838.
58
См. главу 2.
59
См. главу 7.
60
William J. Doherty, The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties (New York: Avon Books, 1997).
61
K. J. Prager, The Psychology of Intimacy (New York: Guilford Press, 1995).
62
S. L. Gable and H. T. Reis, “Good News! Capitalizing on Positive Events in an Interpersonal Context,” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. Vol. 42 (2010): 195–257, doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(10)42004-3.
63
A. Aron and E. N. Aron, “Self-Expansion Motivation and Including Other in the Self,” in Handbook of Personal Relationships: Theory, Research, and Interventions, 2nd ed., ed. S. Duck (Chichester, England: John Wiley & Sons, 1997), 251–270.
64
См. главу 2.
65
George E. Vaillant, Charles C. McArthur, and Arlie Bock, “Grant Study of Adult Development, 1938–2000,” Harvard Dataverse, 2010, doi.org/10.7910/DVN/48WRX9.
66
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy (Boston: Beacon Press, 1962).
67
E. E. Smith, The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters (New York: Crown, 2017).
68
“Warning Signs of Abuse,” National Domestic Violence Hotline, thehotline.org/identify-abuse/warning-signs-of-abuse/.
69
См. главу 4.